Article | love sauce child in the first half of 2021, the divorce rate is as high as 23%, this has been rising for 15 consecutive years of data;In 2021, the marriage rate was only 5.8 per 1,000, the lowest in nearly a decade.No matter before and after marriage, there are always trifles to test the emotional foundation of two people. Mr. Qian Zhongshu said in “Fortress Besieged” that “marriage is the tomb of love”. When love enters the tomb, it will be found that the carnival of love and pain are often linked.Love is the treasure of life, the highest, touching, perfect reward of life, but love is mostly strong and short.Intimacy is a very close emotional bond.It enables a person to obtain a sense of security, happiness and satisfaction in marriage.Such feelings of happiness and security are essential to a lasting and successful marriage.So people are starting to wonder why rising incomes don’t continue to improve happiness.If happiness is a lifelong goal, then what is happiness?Where does it come from?How do you increase that?Maybe you’ll find the answer in Happiness Lab.The book “Happiness Lab: Love is a Problem, Love is the Answer” restores the graphic content of “Happiness Lab”, the first large-scale psychological reality experimental experience program in China.This is an “emotional life guide” by peng Kaiping, dean of the School of Social Sciences at Tsinghua University, Chen Haixian, a well-known psychological consultant, Wang Yong, deputy director of the Institute of Economics at Tsinghua University and other experts.When the emotional anxiety of men and women, affecting a person’s pursuit of happiness, urban men and women in the face of marriage problems are magnified, objectification of objects, brutal conquest, change…Only by using the scientific method of “positive psychology” can we relieve anxiety and achieve happiness.Professor Peng Kaiping believes that learning positive psychology is the secret to happiness;Chen Haixian, a psychological consultant, put forward the important value of intimate relationship from practical experience, because it is the eternal means of human against death.Professor Wang Yong, deputy director of the institute, restored another real modern marriage relationship covered by anxiety marketing and dog blood narrative from a scientific theory and rational perspective.What is positive psychology?In the 20th century, positive psychology is humanistic psychology that focuses on happiness and satisfaction.The content of positive psychology includes: “live happily, enjoy life”, “live well, participate in life”, and “have a meaningful life, have a life to belong to”.Professor Peng Kaiping found that after the rapid economic development, everyone has a great pursuit of personal happiness and vigorous life;When there are social and psychological changes so quickly, and an understanding of the Chinese desire to the pursuit of happiness and well-being, and methods of science, it is very necessary, happiness can be physical or sensory simple satisfaction, truly happy man, in his feel meaningful in the way of life, enjoy it bit by bit, but it is not equal to happiness.To be happy, one must have a clear goal that brings happiness and meaning, and then work hard to pursue it. Happiness consists of three dimensions: happiness, health and harmony.”Happiness Lab” this book is more like a classic psychology treasure house, it in the three dimensions of happiness, on the application of positive psychology, launched the most heart-piercing problems of modern men and women, guide us to think about how to master the plan of happy life.This can be an opportunity for us to rethink happiness and provide guidance and help based on scientific theories.”Happiness Lab”, with “experiment + observation” way, with real experimental experience, stand in the psychological perspective, focus on the emotional issues that men and women are most concerned about, and discuss the hot social phenomenon.In real life, when people choose their love partner, most of them will go back and forth between “appearance level” and “money”.In the experiment, we can see the phenomenon of embarrassment but cannot seek and hesitancy after being selected. The “number plate experiment” is to explore a question about “who will you marry?” At this time, the consideration of personal charm and economic strength will produce subtle changes in the mind.Economic strength is always the most important link that most parents of both parties care about. Professor Peng Kaiping believes that marriage ultimately follows the “matching principle”. Psychological studies have also found that family matching is the universal law of stable marriage.A true match between two people or even two families refers to the equivalence in experience, knowledge, knowledge, ideas and three views.These factors determine whether two people, even both families, can be united in terms of ideology and corresponding strategies when faced with trials and tribulations, and do not affect the two people can continue to live together, which is also an important factor for the harmony of a family.Bill Gates once said, “The most important choice in my life was not to start Microsoft or give to charity, but to find the right partner.”Marriage is not a choice of a person, but a choice of life style, even the rest of your life, in addition to love, but also need to have responsibility, responsibility, mutual tolerance, understanding.We need partners who are equal, not just to make ends meet, and not one dependent on the other.Whether it’s laughing in a BMW or crying on a bicycle, According to American sociologist Kristin Munsch, when men earn one to one and a half times as much as women, marriages tend to be stable, and infidelity rates tend to rise when men make up 70 percent of household income.So not every Cinderella’s knowledge, education, three views, can match with the prince.Some men will say, “My girlfriend doesn’t want to work after marriage, so she asks me to support her, so I feel great pressure.” “My girlfriend says she has to take care of her salary after marriage.”It can be seen that most of men’s emotional pressure comes from “financial burden”, while women’s troubles are mainly due to the measurement of their partner’s “financial ability”.Happiness Lab mentioned that in the process of moving from love to marriage, it is still necessary to construct the property relationship of both parties from the perspective of economy, so that the property system can better support the marriage and affection of two people.Can money solve everything?Many marriages break up not because of money, but because of many small details in life, the two people can not achieve the same idea, to cope with and overcome together.Economic strength plays a part in marriage, but it is absolutely not the decisive role, and there will even be the so-called “husband and wife are the same birds in the forest, the impending disaster to fly separately”.In the experiment of husband and wife box court, the contradictions and differences between husband and wife facing problems and conflicts are revealed.In the box court game, the husband just wanted to build an amusement park, but the wife thought is a wild zoo, so she is very strong into the python, lion…Constantly creating problems for her husband.In real life, the wife tends to stick to her own ideas and won’t let the other out if they have a disagreement.But in the end, the wife will try to persuade the husband, and the husband will usually compromise.At the end of the game, the couple laughed at themselves as “a pair of angels and demons.” Then the wife touched her husband’s head and said with a smile, “You are such a lovely little boy.This “collision” between ideas and behaviors tests the “acceptance and tolerance” of couples in conflicts and their ability to trust each other to cope.Chen Haixian, a psychological consultant, said: “There is no perfect lover in the world. It is love and tolerance that turn us into the right person. It is you who turn the other person into the right person with appreciation and recognition.””What is happiness anyway?When we’re talking about happiness, we’re also talking about unhappiness.Happiness and misfortune seem to follow each other.You can only feel happiness when you see unhappiness and contrast it.”The book “Happiness Lab: Love is a Problem, Love is the Answer” hopes to establish a “sense of companionship”. The experiment only provides a way of thinking. Developing the habit of positive thinking can help reduce negative emotions and actively solve problems, thus improving happiness.Intimate relationship is not a love myth, it is a positive interaction between people;Love is like a kind of faith, you have to believe in it before you can see it, love should be timely, cherish happiness, create happiness in the moment.